My Random Show of Insanity: HTTYD
by Insanity Studios Ink
Summary: My insane side got the best of me, and demanded that I write this at pen-point. The gist of this story is I invite the HTTYD characters into Insanity Studios for tea, biscuits, and a really insane interview. Camicazi vs. Astrid, Camicazi vs. Hiccup, Camicazi vs. Jen, Snotlout vs. Snotlout, some Hiccup/Astrid and Book Hiccup/Camicazi.
1. Chapter 1

_Hello again, my devoted fans. At three in the morning, the idea for this hit me like a dose of a psychiatric drug. The 3 O'clock idea was to interview the HTTYD characters on a talk show. What could possibly go wrong?_

 _WARNING: Contains highly concentrated insanity, uncontrollable randomness, and traces of lead. People who are normal may want to contact their doctors before being exposed to this much insanity. Contents are under pressure, so please shake well before use. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK! M.= Movie character, B.=Book character._

 _P.S. Jen is not my sister. She is the twin that I don't have, but wish I did. (And one of the voices in my head)_

Joan: Hey, we should totally interview the HTTYD characters!

Jen: Good idea! Wait, how will they answer?

Joan: Uh, I don't know. *thinks* Ooh, how about we ask their pictures!

Jen: *raises eyebrow*

Joan: Oh, right.

*both sit and think for a while*

Jen: *light bulb appears above head* I've got it! *runs off*

Joan: …

Jen: *reappears with Harry's wand* had to make some heads roll to get this, but here goes nothing! *walks over to stack of HTTYD books and the movie. Taps each one and mutters something*

Joan: (to boom lady, the person holding the microphone thingy) She's lost it, hasn't she.

Boom Lady: She lost it a looong time ago. So have you.

*HTTYD characters start appearing*

Joan: (unable to speak due to mouth that fell into the basement)

Jen: It's alive! Mwa ha ha ha!

M. Hiccup: Ah! Who's that!

Astrid: (to M. Hiccup) I don't know. Is she sane?

Joan: Nope! Welcome to Insanity Studios! Today we are going to-

Jen: (interrupting) To kill you all and feed you to hungry sharks!

*people start screaming and fleeing for the exits, which are locked.

Joan: No, we were supposed to be interviewing them. *sighs*

Jen: (incredulously) We are? But that's no fun! *pouts*

Joan: Too bad, life's not fun.

Jen: I beg to differ.

M. Snotlout: Help! I'm trapped with the crazies!

Jen: (over the PA system) WE ARE NOT GOING TO KILL YOU. PLEASE RETURN TO THE CENTER TABLE FOR YOUR RESPECTIVE INTERVIEWS. THANK YOU. ALSO, WE ARE NOT CRAZY, JUST... TOUCHED.

Joan: Right. Onto the first victim-err, subject. So M. Hiccup, we all know that you love Astrid-

Camicazi: WHAT! *turns to B. Hiccup* You CHEAT! Who the %#$ ^& is Astrid.

Hiccup: I don't know anyone called Astrid! *runs away from a sword-wielding Camicazi*HEEELLLLPPPP!

Astrid: (giggling) Now would probably not be the best time to introduce myself.

Camicazi: Hiccup, I'm gonna kill you. Ooh, shiny. *runs after Boom Lady, still holding sword*

Boom Lady: Jen! Joan! I could use- *ducks so as not to get her head cut off* some help here! *drops microphone and runs, microphone hits the camera. Static and snow fills the screen*

 **TEN MINITES LATER**

*Screen blinks on to show a close-up of Jen's nose*

Cameraman: We're on!

Jen: *backs away from the camera. Studio looks as if a bomb went off* (merrily) Oh hi again! After fixing things and breaking others, we got this show up and running again. (menacing) DIE! ALL MUST DIE!

Joan: (to operator on phone) Hi, can you give me the number for the psych ward? Why? No reason, I just might need it. *writes something down* Yeah thanks. Bye now.

Jen: Who was that?

Joan: Oh, no one. Could you do your wand thing again? We need our characters.

Jen: Righty o.

*does wand thing*

Jen: Oy Harry! You can have your wand back!

*Harry walks up, decapitated and carrying his head*

Headless Harry: (sarcastically) Thanks, I might just need that. *walks off*

Joan: What. Was. That.

Jen: I said I had to roll a few heads to get that wand, didn't I?

*HTTYD trope walks in, starts making themselves comfy*

Jen: Coffee anyone? No? How about juice? All set? Good.

Joan: So B. Hiccup. Why do you think that you didn't realize that you were left-handed until the second book?

B. Hiccup: I think it was because being left-handed was seen as a weakness, and I didn't want to seem any more weak than I already looked, so I never tried left-handed until then.

Jen: That sounds good. NEXT!

Joan: Hey! I'm supposed to say next!

Jen: Are not!

Joan: Are too!

Jen: Are not!

Joan: Are too!

Astrid: Hey! I hate to interrupt your little fight here, but I haven't got all day.

Jen: Fine.

Joan: Moving on; Astrid! The next question is for you! So Astrid, what were you thinking after Hiccup beat you at the dragon-fighting-compatition?

Astrid: I was mostly thinking-

Camicazi: I WILL MAKE YOU SUFFER A SLOW AND PAINFULL DEATH! YOU'RE ASTRID, RIGHT?! *swipes sword at Astrid. Astrid blocks with her dagger. Both begin fighting.*

Jen: Move along, nothing to see here...

Joan: I'd rather not take anyone the the ER, so no mauling please.

Jen: M. Snotlout, come on up! You are the next contestant on Insanity Studios Interview of Death! *M. Snotlout walks up, visibly shaking*

Joan: Oh sop with the cowering! Be a Viking! So why are you less ugly in the movies than you are in the books?

M. Snotlout: Well, no one can be as hansom as Sotlout Jorgenson, so B. Snotlout, by defalt, must be uglier than I am. *B. Snotlout and Dogsbreath proceed to beat up M. Snotlout*

Camicazi: You call that fighting? Come on, you can do better than that. After all, you're a girl. That must be why you've outlasted all the other people I've dueled.

Joan: You're at a stand-off because Astrid is Based off you Camicazi. She's like your twin.

*Astrid and Camicazi stop fighting*

Astrid: Wait, I'm related to her?

Jen: Not really, she's more like the twin you never had.

Camicazi: Oh, I get it now.

Jen: Camicazi, where did you learn your awesome sword-fighting skills?

Camicazi: I kidnapped a Viking warrior that was on Bog-Burgler territory and he taught me. After he was done, I released him and stole hi sword.

Jen: Cool! I have a nice dagger myself, but swords are good too. *pulls out a wickedly sharp dagger*

Camicazi: Nice, but you have to know how to use it of course.

Jen: I think I'm all set with that. *throws the dagger at the opposite wall. Slices the horns on Snotlout's helmet off. Snotlout was, of course, flirting with the lady in the sound booth who couldn't hear him due to the fact that sound booths are soundproof*

Camicazi: Not bad, not bad at all. You must know how to use it I close combat though.

Jen: I'm not too worried on my skills in that either.

Camicazi: Really? Let's test that! * the two start dueling, Jen with a letter-opener and Camicazi with her sword. In less than a minite, Jen has Camicazi disarmed and at letter-opener point*

Camicazi: (stunned) That's unbelievable. How the heck are you that good?!

Jen: (retrieving her dagger) Practice, practice, practice!

Now that that's done, Astrid, what do you see in M. Hiccup that you didn't see in him before?

Astrid: Hiccup, please leave.

Joan: (whispering to M. Hiccup) Go to the staff room. There's doughnuts.

Astid: Now! *Hiccup runs for the staff room* Good. Now, before the whole dragon riding thing, I thought he was a... HICCUP! GET YOUR EAR OFF THAT DOOR BEFORE I COME OVER THEIR AND MURDER YOU PAINFULY AND SLOWLY!

*scuffling as Hiccup runs away, trips over a stray cat, and falls on a tea-tray*

 _ **Meow! Thump. Crash.**_

Hiccup: Ow...

Joan: How did you know that? Are you psychic?

Astrid: Ah, no. I just know my boyfriend well. I thought he was a clumsy nerd that would end up killing someone with one of his crazy inventions. But he showed me that he was a kind loving soul who couldn't stand to see anyone, even the enemy, hurt. He was brave, letting Toothless go and trusting that the dragon wouldn't kill him, because he didn't kill it. That's what I see in him now.

Jen: So... when did you two start dating?

Astrid: Woah, hold on. Who said anything about dating?

Joan: You called him your boyfriend not even ten sentences ago.

Astrid: *looks back at script* So I did. *sighs* Okay Hiccup, you can come out now. You might as well bring the teacup you were using to listen in on our conversation.

*Hiccup appears holding a teacup*

Astrid: So Hiccup, how would you say our relationship is?

Hiccup: (sacastically) We're mortal enemies, trying to kill each other at every chance. And don't think I didn't notice that you passed that question off to me!

*Hiccup pours some coffee into the teacup he's holding and spills a bit on Astrid*

Astrid: *shrieks* HICCUP, YOU ARE DEAD!

Hiccup: (quickly) Yep, enenies! *runs and baracades himself in th staff room. Astrid swings her axe at the door*

Jen: Ooh, we're destroying things? Here, let me help!

*grabs a can labeled NITROGLYCERIN and sets it next to the door. Puts a fuse in it and lights the fuse*

Joan: (oblivious to the impending doom) M. Fishlegs, you're next! So Fishlegs, why are you more Viking-like in the movi-

NITROGLYCERIN: (interrupting rather rudely) BOOM!

*studio shake violently, a stage light falls and hits Dogsbreath on the head. Sirens are heard in the distance*

Jen: (completely covered in soot and dust) Yippee! It worked!

Astrid: Not quite. Everything but the door is destroyed.

Joan: WHAT THE BLOODY %$# &^*%#$ !# WAS THAT! YOU NEARLY BLEW THE ROOF OFF!

Jen: The can of nitroglycerin that was in the FOR EMERGANCIES ONLY cabinet Why do you ask?

*Joan collapses into a sitting position net to an overturned desk*

Astrid: I think we killed her.

*Joan starts banging her head on the desk*

B. Fishlegs: (kneeling next to Dogsbreath) Do you think he's dead?

B. Hiccup: No such luck.

B. Fishlegs: Darn, that would have made my life a lot easier.

 _ **Thunk. Thunk. Thunk. Thunk. Thunk.**_

 _Thank you, thank you. I ended up doing half of this by the light of a small solar garden light listening to the sound of the rain. No the power was not out. I think I'm going to do another chapter, so if you have questions you want me to ask the HTTYD crew, please let me know by review or PM. Thank you._

 _~Yours in insanity, Joan McCreedy_


	2. I really don't know where this came from

_Hey peoples! I'm back from the dead! Please note that if it says Overlord Joan, that is me as the author speaking, not the character Joan (who is also me). Try not to get confused!_

 _P.S. This is probably the weirdest thing I've ever written. Please note that it breaks the fourth wall frequently. Like, every four sentences._

 _ **Disclaimer: I own nothing that belongs to someone else. All characters and businesses/organizations mentioned are belong to their respective owners. I cannot take responsibility for any damages that may occur to the reader. See the list listed below.**_

Jen: Hi! We're back!

Joan: It's so good to see you guys! It's been forever!

Astrid: (Under her breath) But not long enough...

M. Hiccup: Agreed. Now, can we just get this over with?

Jen: Sure! Coffee, anyone? No, it's not poisoned.

*Pours a cup for Camicazi, who gulps it down.*

Camicazi: I'M NOT HYPER! WHO SAYS I'M HYPER?! I WANT TO KILL THEM! AFTER I CLIMB THIS WALL!

Joan: That may have been a bad idea...

Jen: Maybe...

*All watch as Camicazi climbs to the rafters.*

Camicazi: WHOOHOO! LOOK AT ME! I'M TALLER THAN YOU! OOH, SHINY...

*Walks towards a spotlight; tries to turn it off.*

M. Fishlegs: (To Joan) Your insurance will cover this, right?

Joan: CAMICAZI! GET DOWN HERE NOW! I HAVE QUESTIONS TO ASK YOU!

Camicazi:Ooh, questions! Can I kill someone? Please?

Jen: No. **Luvdragons** said _"_ _Ask if he likes Camicazi! Great story!"_

Joan: (interrupting) I'm assuming "he" means "Hiccup." B. Hiccup; do you like Camicazi?

*B. Hiccup turns bright red.*

B. Hiccup: I...uh...Cami...WHAT?!

Camicazi: Ooh, is there a question for me? Please? Pretty-please-with-sugar-on-top-and-a-cherry-with-chocolate-frosting-and-sprinkles?

Joan: Sure. Do you like B. Hiccup?

Camicazi: YES! YES! I _WILL_ MARRY YOU HICCUP HORRENDOUS HADDOCK III!

*Jumps at Hiccup and snogs the heck out of him*

B. Hiccup: Math! *gasps for air* HELP!

*Booming voice of Overlord Joan echoes through the studio*

Overlord Joan: Sorry, auto-correct decided math is a better word than what I had before. Humph!

Snotlout: What...was _that_?

Jen: Oh, that was just Overlord Joan, decider of all things in this fanfic.

Astrid: Wait, we're in a fanfic?!

Overlord Joan: Yes, and this whole story is a figment of my overactive imagination. Have fun!  
B. Fishlegs: Wait, so there's some fool of a reader reading this pitiful excuse of a story?

Random Reader: THAT WAS MEAN! DIE, EVERYONE, DIE!

*Large asteroid destroys the studio. Everyone is killed*

Overlord Joan: Aww, but I was just getting to the fun part!

Random Reader: DIE, OVERLORD JOAN, FOR YOUR DIABOLICAL EVIL IN YOUR OTHER FANFICS!

*Overlord Joan mysteriously dies at her computer while typing this fan-fiction*

Random Reader: Wait: without Joan, there are none of her fan-fictions, which means no readers, which means no me. Without me, no one dies!

*Random Reader vanishes with a popping sound*

*Everyone appears again*

Overlord Joan: That was weird. I had the oddest dream, in which we all died. Huh.

Jen: Alrighty everyone, back to your places!

M. Gobber: No one is at all curious on why there's dust everywhere, and rock bits on the floor.

M. Stoic: Nope!

Overlord Joan: Oh, that. You were all killed by an asteroid, but you're all alive now. No worries! Just watch out for murderous readers!

*All people look fearfully to the audience*

Joan: (In a small voice) You're not going to kill us, are you?

Person in Audience: We'll see. MWAHAHAHAH!

*People start panicking and screaming, while Overlord Joan tries to get control over her possessed keyboard*

Overlord Joan: HELP! MY COMPUTER IS HIJACKING ITSELF!

Computer: No, I'm not. Your sister is doing this...

Overlord Hannah(Joan's sister): *evil laugh*

*The screen flickers, goes black, turns on again. Sound cuts out, and is replaced by a high-pitched screech. Everything goes dead*

U.S. Department of Homeland Security: We are sorry to interrupt your regularly scheduled program. This program has been deemed a public safety hazard by the United States Center for Disease Control. Please, stand by as we find a different program.

*Wheel of Fortune pops on.*

 _ ***Meanwhile, in Western Europe***_

*Chaos is on the screen. Joan finally manages to regain control of her computer. Things start to calm down, but are not helped by the Thorston twins' discovery of a fireworks stash*

*Overlord Joan rereads the last hundred words in a vain attempt to figure out where it all went wrong*

Joan: (As a purple firework explodes above her) Ahem! Um... Fine. **SHUT IT!**

*Order is restored*

Jen: (Whispering) Wow, she's never been that bold before! **(A/N: Heh, heh. Bad pun!)**

Overlord Joan: Thank you Joan. I have just been informed by our public services agent that-

*Firework shoots out of computer screen and explodes, setting Overlord Joan's bed on fire. Overlord Joan flicks a switch be her desk, and her fire prevention system kicks in.*

Overlord Joan: -we are no longer responsible for any damages of any shape or kind that may occur to the readers. These damages include, but are not limited to: temporary or permanent insanity, cancer, mental health problems, procrastination, stroke, cardiac arrest, nerve damage, diabetes, blindness, constipation, complications during pregnancy, cardiovascular issues, respiratory issues, gastrointestinal issues, fatigue, headaches, dizziness, hair loss, sudden aging, rashes, allergic reactions, and death. If you or a loved one are or have experienced any of these symptoms, please contact your G.P. and call a lawyer.

Astrid: Well, that sure was anti-climatic.

Overlord Joan: Hey, I was reading the last chapter of this, and I couldn't help but noticed that we never did ask B. Fishlegs that one question...

Jen: Right! Well, B. Fishlegs, you're up!

*B. Fishlegs walks to the center table, cowering in fear*

Joan: So why do you think you are represented more as a Viking-like figure in the movie than you are in the book?

B. Fishlegs: Well, I think that Hiccup-

M. Hiccup: I was supposed to be represented as alone and unloved in the movie, so the audience would feel bad for me. Besides, it made for a better plot if I didn't have any friends.

Jen: I see...The directors of the How to Train Your Dragon movies really did hate you, didn't they?

M. Hiccup: Not that bad, they only chopped off my leg.

Overlord Joan: You people do realize that Stoic dies in the second movie, right?

M. Stoic the Vast: I'm dead?

Jen: Um, how about we talk about that...have a seat.

*B. Fishlegs skedaddles so as not to be squished by Stoic sittting down.*

M. Stoic: (Eyeing the coffee pot) You don't have anything stronger, do you? I could do with a flagon of mead. At this point, I'd even take Scotch or whiskey.

Joan: Er, no. All we have is coffee and tea. As far as I know...

Jen: (Whistles innocently)

Jen: Anywho-

Overlord Joan: HEY! That's my line! You cannot take that, it is copyrighted by ME!

Jen: I _am_ you! Have you gone crazy?

Overlord Joan: The difference between insanity and genius is measured only by success.

Joan: *CoughJamesBondrefferenceCoughCough*

Jen: Me personally, I think Bond is an idiot.

Overlord Joan and Joan: Agreed.

Overlord Joan: But that wasn't a Bond quote. That was a quote from one of the villains!

Joan: Anywho, you end up dying by the hand of Toothless, who is under the control of Drago Bludvist. Hiccup goes through some good old-fashioned angst and everything ends happily.

Jen: But you are dead.

M. Stoic: Right. Might want to write up my will then.

M. Hiccup: Nooooooo! Dad, please don't die!  
Jen: Oh! By the way, Valka isn't dead. She wears this creepy outfit and lives in a dragon sanctuary rescuing dragons. Stoic and Valka will be reunited for about five minutes before Stoic dies. Spoiler!

*Everyone's day is ruined when they hear this*

Overlord Joan: I have no regrets! Except for that one thing...and that other one too.. *starts sobbing* I REGRET EVERYTHING!

*Overlord Hannah starts typing in her sister's absence.*

Harry, Ron, and Hermione appear*

Harry: (pointing to Jen) That's the girl I was telling you about! She stole my wand and took my decapitated head bowling!

Jen: But it was fun! For me.

Hermoine appear: Alright, I'm sure we can figure this out-AHHH!

*Jen sees Hermoine's wand, and tries to grab it*

Joan: Help! Someone restrain her!  
Overlord Hannah: Why won't this damn keyboard work?!

*Cat clambers on keyboard*

Cat: (while prancing on keyboard) akljrg p344t 0qjetoiiq34jp9q4tm wf0gjq3i5 rq3oi qri i409512440 wqw40 134[ 35t09u tgq[i4 50j gtq9-j 5-9j w4-99 vq400 [wt jq39tjar09jtq34pj51 SETIJY APRAEIPAJG[PAW[p mfh[wkm[PMG PRMHSPmpo aPJ wtj[eprjh eptjhewkjh b[pkm priij gae[ij qjpg aprijy [apdifhgj [apriyvq[ rga[pyj[q5epijtgapsojrg p jetgq]-3jt v- ta ]pgj[43pij6tg jt 3q9ti-43

Google Translate: The cat said "Hello, my name is Grayham. Whatever rubbish name you called me before is worthless. Please, I'd like my water shaken, not stirred. Also, I'd prefer smoked salmon and cream rather than this crap you're feeding me now. Try to remember that, puny humans!

Overlord Joan: (back from sobbing her eyes out) WHAT THE BLOODY HELL HAPPENED TO MY BEAUTIFUL STORY?!

Overlord Hannah: The computer won't respond! It's broken! It has no common sense anymore!

Ron: Could someone explain what is happening? Blimey, they've got snacks!

Overlord Joan: (regains control of the runaway keyboard) You know, Harry and Hermione would make a good couple!

Overlord Hannah: That's brilliant! *Types on the keyboard.*

*Ron is struck down by a bolt of lightning.*

Overlord Hannah: Sorry, not sorry! Harry and Hermione forever!

Harry: Hermione, I think now would be a good time to get out of here.

Hermione: Agreed.

*Both apparate away, taking Ron with them.*

Overlord Joan: NOO! I WAS JUST GOING TO MAKE THEM CONFESS THEIR FEELINGS FOR ONE ANOTHER!

Overlord Hannah: Aww, I was going to have so much fun torturing them! The angst! The hurt! The depression!

*HTTYD crew sneaks out the back door*

*Joan and Jen listen to their two overlords planning the slow destruction of the Harry Potter universe*

 _ **TEN MINUTES LATER**_

Joan: I'm telling you, they're not going to be able to get a hold of any of the Harry Potter characters. Someone's put up a ward.

Jen: You must not know our creator. She will obsess over them until she finds a way. And Overlord Hannah will likely kill us all if we don't help them.

Overlord Joan: By the way, this whole chapter was inspired by **Albino RJ Stingray**. A huge shout-out to him, everyone!

*The remaining four people wave enthusiastically*

Overlord Hannah: Hey, where did everyone go?

Joan: HUMAN HUNT!

*SWAT Team pops out of the carpentry and searches for HTTYD crew. Rounds them up and brings them back in unmarked black vans*

Astrid: Shoot. We're back. Just kill me now.

Overlord Joan: (sing-songy) I heard that!

Astrid: (cussing under her breath) That damn woman and her show; it's going to be the end of us! She can go to hell for all I care...

Overlord Joan: (Definitely less sing-songy) I heard that too.

Overlord Hannah: Well, it's probably true. You do seem to love torturing them.

Overlord Joan: Look what you do to your characters! I wouldn't be talking, missy, that's the pot calling the kettle black.

*Sisterly bickering ensues*

*HTTYD crew tries to sneak out the back door again, but is stopped by the SWAT Team at the door.*

SWAT leader (Who happens to be a die-hard Lord of the Rings Fan): You shall not pass!

Ruffnut: (Backstage) Ooh, look, it's a five-gallon can of petrol!

Tuffnut: (Also backstage) And I found a match!

*The Twins spread petrol over the control booth, then light the match and light the place up.*

Petrol: BOOM!

*Flames erupt and electrical sparks fly.*

Thorston Twins: Coool...

Overlord Joan: AHHHH! MY BEAUTIFUL ₤2.50 STUDIO!

Overlord Hannah: *pats Overlord Joan on the back* There, there. It's all a figment of your imagination.

*Fire-engines arrive and start battling the blaze. Ambulances arrive to help carry out the injured.*

M. Snotlout: Take me away! Take me away from these people!

Overlord Joan: (Reading the previous script) I have no idea where the hell this rubbish came from. I apologize to the poor, poor readers.

Overlord Joan: Wait, I control all things in this fanfic! *starts typing*

*Fire immediately disappears and the ambulances taking the HTTYD characters mysteriously stall*

*HTTYD characters vanish and reappear in the Insanity Studios, which is perfectly fixed*

Overlord Hannah: Back to the interviews! Okay, I'm done ruining your story, I'm going back to my movie. Have fun torturing them!

*B. Fishlegs shudders*

Overlord Joan: (While banging head on desk) This story has no point other than to terrorize fictional characters and bring insanity upon the poor readers.

Camicazi: (Swinging down from the rafters) MARRY ME HICCUP, OR I WILL FORCE YOU TOO!

*Everyone is startled.*

B. Hiccup: Erm, can I get police protection?

Overlord Joan: Sorry, no. In Section 4, Paragraph 12, Clause 26, Sub-Clause C, it clearly states that the private affairs do not warrant the involvement of public safety officials.

B. Hiccup: Right. Well then, I suppose there's nothing left to do.

*Hiccup bolts for the exit.*

Camicazi: Oh no you don't!

*Camicazi tackles Hiccup, and both fall down a flight of stairs that wasn't there a minute ago*

Overlord Joan: I'm evil, I am. I can make magical stairs randomly appear.

Camicazi: Oh God, he's not breathing. I've killed him!

Overlord Joan: Not to worry. *Snaps fingers. Hiccup sits up.*

Dr. Frankenstein: IT'S ALIVE!

Astrid: Who the hell is that?

Overlord Hannah: Never mind. Inside joke.

*Overlords Joan and Hannah shoot each other meaningful looks, then burst out laughing. The world will never know what the joke was.*

Director: CUT! That's enough craziness for one day, thank you very much! We'll try that again tomorrow.

 **DELETED SCENES**

Camicazi: Ooh, is there a question for me? Please? Pretty-please-with-sugar-on-top-and-a-cherry-with-chocolate-frosting-and-sprinkles?

Joan: Sure. Do you like...burp? No, breathing? No, it was some other bodily function. Damn it!

Director: Hiccup. It was Hiccup.

Joan: Right, right. Sorry everyone!

Camicazi: YES! YES! I _WILL_ MARRY YOU HICCUP HORRENDOUS HADDOCK III!

*Jumps at Hiccup and snogs the heck out of him.*

*Wedding theme plays in background and church-bells are heard.*

*Overlord Joan smirks at her deviously evil plan.*

*Captain Hook appears in the midst of the soon-to-be-wed-bliss.*

Captain Hook: Where am I? I was talking to Smee, now...

Jen: You're at Insanity Studios. Welcome to the twenty-first century!

Captain Hook: Blast that Peter Pan! This must be his doing!

Joan: You're a captain, right?

Captain Hook: Yeah...

Overlord Joan: Good, you legally have the right to preside over funerals, and... _weddings_.

Captain Hook: I'm not liking where this is going. I've got a bad feeling about this...

Jen: You're going to marry Camicazi and Hiccup!

Captain Hook: I knew I wouldn't like this...

Director: (On the telephone) Yeah...uh huh...what? You're pulling my leg, right? They're props, they can't be real. Oh no. I'll try to tell them, but I don't think it'll work. *Hangs up* RUFF! TUFF! GET BACK HERE WITH THOSE FIREWORKS!

 _Here's the end! That was a total of 2,348 words, a new record for me! I hope you haven't gone completely insane yet, 'cause I'm planning to post a new one=shot called "Color." Should be interesting._

 _And the chapter; I really have no idea where all of this came from. I imagined what it would be like, and wrote it down. Thanks to the reviewer who asked the question about Hiccup liking Camicazi, and a huge thank you to **Albino RJ Stingray** , for (accidentally) inspiring this chapter. I hope, if you're reading this, you quite realize the beast you have unleashed! _

_You can still ask the HTTYD characters any question you wish, via PM or review. I am open to any and all questions. Please tell me that I didn't write 2,350-ish words of pure insanity in vain! I spent over 10 hours, 49 minutes, and 58 seconds on this (Yes, my word processor counts it)._

 _Have a good Fourth of July weekend!_

 _~Yours in Writing, Joan McCreedy_


	3. Munson, the Chicken, and Pastor Dave

Overlord Joan: Well, here's the new chapter of "MRSoI: HTTYD". Someone pinch me, because I'm going to fall asleep if you don't. If anyone would like to beta-read for me, I would gladly appreciate the help. My week has been hell.

Jen: I'm glad I'm not you!

*Jen smacks herself*

Overlord Joan: (is crabby) Do not forget, I am the decided of all things in this story. If I wanted, I could have you die of congestive heart failure right now.

*Jen keels over, dead before she hits the floor*

Overlord Joan: Damn. Wrong key.

Joan: MY TWIN! HOW COULD YOU, YOU EVIL MONSTER!

Overlord Joan: That's a bit harsh, considering I could just bring her back to life at any time.

*Overlord Joan snaps her fingers. Jen sits up*

Jen: Where am I? I just had the most horrible dream...

Astrid: Why couldn't you have just left her for dead, at least until the end of the show?

*Manager walks up, whispers quietly to Joan*

Joan: I have just received grave news. I am afraid that this show's life has come to the end. Ratings are down enough that Channel 9 is no longer going to air us.

Jen: Goodbye, fair viewers. Our time has come, at long last, to exit the stage. While we shall no longer be aired, we can hope that you will let us live on in your hearts forevermore. May we all enjoy the 80's reruns of "Wheel of Fortune" that will be aired in our place.

*Joan coughs*

Jen: And may-

*Joan coughs louder*

Jen: STOP INTERRUPTING MY SHAKESPEARE!

Joan: Management said we are continuing this broadcast, as a last-ditch effort to bump the ratings back up. Stop blubbering and start being like "Wheel of Fortune."

The Wheel of Fortune host, with considerably less white hairs: And Audrey spins the wheel. Oh, that could be the million! No, she's bankrupt! Sorry Audrey, I'm going to have to take that wild card back. Brian, if you would.

Overlord Joan: I _will not_ put up with that load of rubbish in my perfectly good story! Now shut it before I make you mute, Jen.

Jen: (Darkly) Do it. I dare you. See what will happen to Mr. Fuzzykins.

*all gasp dramatically*

Overlord Joan: NO! Not Mr. Fuzzykins! Not my poor, defenseless teddy!

Jen: Then shove it with the bossy-boss attitude.

Overlord Joan: *hugs Mr. Fuzzykins* You shall never have him!

M. Hiccup: I hate to interrupt our Overlord's obsessing over her stuffed bear, but the show is about _us_ , you know.

*Joan, Jen, and Overlord Joan flush, embarrassed*

Overlord Joan: (Quietly) That aired, didn't it?

Cameraman 1: Yeah.

Cameraman 2: Keep it up; the audience seems to love this. Me personally, my head's starting to hurt. Being this close to Insanity probably has disastrous effects on the body. I will sue if I somehow manage to get cancer of the toenails.

Fishlegs: What's cancer?

Joan: Err, a deadly disease. Also, Munson is a cancer.

Overlord Joan: Heh, heh. Inside joke. You'll get it, Dad.

Hiccup: Moving on, did anyone review on the last chapter?

Jen: Yeah, but I don't have internet right now. I'll have to answer your reviews later. Sorry, you lot.

*All the lovely reviewers boo, throw a rotten tomato, and change the channel*

Joan: So anywho, I think we're supposed to be asking questions. We'll start with Tuffnut this time.

*Tuffnut climbs the steps to the Chair of DOOM*

Jen: So, what's the best practical joke you've ever done, in your opinion?

Tuffnut: Ooh, that a hard one. Like, there was the time we put black powder in the chicken feed. The chickens were blowing up for weeks.

Jen: Oh, that sounds like fun!

Tuffnut: It was. The chickens were all like 'Caack! Caack!' and then BLAM! There was no more chicken!

*Jen scribbles on a notepad, jotting down ideas*

Overlord Joan: Don't you dare try that on _my_ chickens. I'll disembowel you and throttle you with your own intestines if either Martin or Martha goes kaboom, or any of the others.

Jen: How about the rabbits?

Overlord Joan: No.

Jen: The pigs?

Overlord Joan: _No!_

Jen: How about the ducks?

Overlord Joan: (Hissing at Jen) So help me I will rip your heart out with my bare hands then force it down your throat while it's _**still beating.**_

Astrid: Not that that doesn't sound fun, but I can't imagine this is helping your ratings much.

Joan: Right. Here Jen, can you help me with this closet?

*Cameraman follows the duo as they head for a storage closet*

*Jen walks in the closet, Joan locks the door and shuts it*

Jen: JOAN! OPEN UP THIS DOOR THIS INSTANT!

Joan: I'm sorry, it seems to be stuck. Let me call maintenance.

*Joan walks to her chair and sits down*

Joan: Okey-dokey, where were we? Oh yes. M. HICCUP!

*M. Hiccup sits down.*

Overlord Hannah: (Turns around in a big black chair, stroking a cat.) I've been expecting you...

*Hiccup scoots farther away from her.*

Joan: Anyway, Turtlekier42 asks **M. Hiccup, what would you have done if you had never meet Toothless?**

M. Hiccup: Um, I probably would have continued my path on trying to, and failing to, kill dragons. erk would have continued to fight the dragons, and the raids wouldn't have stopped.

Tuffnut: Uh, should we try to keep this chapter somewhat civil, so it doesn't involve the DHS and SWAT?

Joan: You know it's bad when Tuffnut, of all people, wants _less_ chaos!

Ruffnut: Less chaos, you say, Nah! *punches her brother in the face*

Tuffnut: Ow! I am hurt, very much hurt!

*runs away with his chicken following*

Overlord Joan: What is it with him and that chicken?

Joan: I don't know. Apparently it's a Race to the Edge thing.

Overlord Joan: Ah, I see. Is there anyone out there who ships Tuffnut/Chicken? 'Cause I think I'm gonna board that ship.

Joan: I don't think it's a very big ship. Probably an inflatable life-raft.

Overlord Joan: Darn! It's still cute, though.

Alvin the Treacherous: Mmm, chicken wings, chicken soup, broiled chicken, grilled chicken wrap, crispy chicken sandwich...

Tuffnut: NOO! NOT MY CHICKEN!

Overlord Joan: Sorry, I don't know the chicken's name. Anyone know? I'm kinda tired of referring to it as "the Chicken."

Tuffnut: I'd give you the name, but that requires the author knowing it, and she's apparently useless at research.

Overlord Joan: (Sarcastically) Oh, thanks!

Overlord Hannah: It's true...

Overlord Joan: YOU BUGGER OFF!

Overlord Hannah: Well don't bite my head off; I need this mouth to yell at you!

Overlord Joan: By the way, does anyone have some good band stories? I'm looking to prove that band is the weirdest class in any given school.

Overlord Hannah: Oh, and I did a survey of the high-school teachers, and half of them admitted to shipping students, and a quarter said romance in classes affects seating.

Overlord Joan: I'm scared to go back to school now, honestly.

Overlord Hannah: Oh don't worry, we're new. No-one ships us yet!

Overlord Joan: You'd be surprised... I talked to Mr. K, and he already ships you with someone...

Overlord Hannah: WHO!? WHO!? YOU HAVE TO TELL ME WHO!

Overlord Joan: Nope!

*Overlord Hannah chases her sister, repeatedly hitting her over the head with a spatula*

Joan: Well, we might as well continue the interviews. Say, Camicazi, did you ever wonder why your mother is so muscular and you are a twig?

Camicazi: Same reason Stoic is a hulking mass of Viking and Hiccup is a shrimp.

B. Hiccup: Well, I must be at least a slightly muscular shrimp!

Camicazi: Nope! You are a wimpy shrimpy!

*B. Hiccup rolls his eyes*

Joan: (whispering) You can tell they're destined to be married!

Astrid: (whispering back) I thought we already married them?

Joan: No, Captain Hook's accent was so think no-one could understand what he said, but it sounded suspiciously like "Damn Peter Pan probably cooked this up."

Jen: Ah.

Overlord Joan: Enter Pastor Dave!

*Pastor Dave enters*

Pastor Dave: Blah, blah, blah. I pronounce you man and wife. Hiccup, you may now kiss the demon.

*Camicazi attacks Hiccup with her lips again*

Hiccup: Math! Math!

Overlord Joan: (Sighs) There we go with the auto-correct again.

B. Toothless: **Now you just have to get the wedding papers signed, so I can eat those too.**

Hiccup: (Whispering to Toothless) Please eat them!

Camicazi: Eat those papers, and I'll disembowel you and Hiccup both and use your guts to string a fiddle!

*Hiccup and Toothless gulp nervously*

*M. Toothless laughs at them*

Overlord Joan: Hey, completely random, but you readers won't really ever have to worry about our family up and disappearing for a really long trip anywhere, because we're boring and I've literally never been on vacation nor have I ever even been out of the state. Yeah, we're pathetic.

Hiccup from HTTYD2: Wow. I've been almost all the way 'round the world, and you haven't traveled more than, what, 400 miles (644 km)? That's sad.

Overlord Joan: I know. Oh well, my life sucks. But then again, it doesn't. Dad got me a tool kit, so I told him that meant he could help me on my car. He decided to finally get his arse in gear, and is actually helping me fix the damn thing. Ooh, and Mom actually got me a violin! I'm bi-instumental now! A special thanks to the both of them. Love ya!

Overlord Hannah: Don't forget my lovely gift, too!

Overlord Joan: Oh, yes. My darling sister was kind enough to get me one of the bests gifts ever...a fist to the mouth. I, of course, returned it, because I rather didn't like the color. So I hope the rest of you had a lovely holiday. Let me know if you went anywhere special so I can be insanely jealous!

Random Reader: My family and I went to Peru for the holidays. It rained.

Overlord Joan: Oh, to have rain again!

Overlord Hannah: No such luck. Snow, snow, and negative-ten-degree temperatures.

Overlord Joan: Yeah, you have to really love Michigan to survive its winters.

Overlord Hannah: At least we had that one weekend, where it went to thirty-five.

Overlord Joan: Oh, yes. I was running around in a tee-shirt! It was so warm...

Camicazi: Not to interrupt the pity-party, but aren't we the subject of the show?

Joan: Indeed. How's about Alvin the Treacherous. From the movies.

*B. Alvin sits down, looking disappointed*

Jen: (Who had managed to pick four locks on the _outside_ of the door.) Why did you have that personal vendetta against Hiccup?

Alvin: Ah; well, I thought maybe I could use them dragons as tools of war. Ya' know, ta' finish off Stoic and destroy Berk. And he could train 'em so well...

Overlord Joan: Well, at least you turned good in the end.

Alvin: Yeah, only took a deranged madman to overtake mah' island and zap me with lightnin'.

Astrid: Meh, I know a few people who are more stubborn than that. *glares at Hiccup. Hiccup whistles innocently*

Jen: Anyways, that pretty much sums up your segment of the interviews. Do you have any questions for us?

Alvin: Yeah. Why do you have a studio in the middle of San Francisco? Aren't there too many innocent bystanders?

Joan: Eh, it's better than one in the Upper Peninsula. They're all busy hunting, so none of them would watch this rubbish. Actually, if you live in the UP, you can get a legal permit to hunt unicorns. Did you know that?

Overlord Joan: I sure didn't. A friend of mine brought it up at lunch.

*All wave to friend. Friend rolls her eyes*

*Manager runs up, whispers to Joan quietly*

Joan: Oh...Really?...Well, I mean...we could...no, that's...All right.

*Manager makes a hasty exit*

Joan: I have just received news that depending on the reviews we get, and the amount, we may actually be able to stay on air.

Jen: *whoops and dances* Oh yeah, oh yeah. Take THAT, Wheel of Fortune reruns!

Joan: Well, it still depends on the audience-

*rotten tomato splats on the stage, missing her ear by an inch*

Jen: HEY! Our janitor doesn't like it when you do that! Carl might force you to mop that up if you don't watch it!

Random Reader: Booo! Booo! This show sucks! *chanting* Wheel of Fortune! Wheel of Fortune!

Overlord Joan: *sighs* I really hate flamers, the little snots. No offense, Snotlout.

M. Snotlout: None taken.

B. Snotlout: *grunts*

Jen: Well, that's all the time we have today. We hope to see you later on...

MY RANDOM SHOW OF INSANITY

*End Credits Roll*

~~oo0|0oo~~

 _Well, it's all up to you now. I'll let you know what the review standards are, but I'm thinking maybe...seven-ish? That doesn't seem like a whole lot, but it'll probably take months. Have a muffin while you wait!_

 _Anywho, Thank you all for reading, and as always, leave a question for me to ask via review or by PM! Welcome to 2017! May this year be a great one!_

 _~Best Wishes, Joan McCreedy_

 _P.S. has released the new update for the app. PMs on the app are now synced with the site! Awesome!_

 _P.P. random, but you can send this with a phone, too. ;-)_

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Car on Road


	4. Great-Aunt Ethel, Marching Band, & bills

Overlord Joan: Hey you guys, it's me. I had a new chapter typed up, but due to some circumstances beyond my control, I no longer have it. So, here's a new chapter four for ya'!

Overlord Hannah: Took you long enough! You took forever to type up the first one!

Overlord Joan: *ignoring sister* Alright, here goes!

*Camera goes to studio*

Director: Places, everyone! Camera in 3...2...1...

*Theme music plays. Insanity Studios' s teacup logo appears on viewer's screen*

Joan: Welcome back to another episode of My Random Show Of Insanity: How To Train Your Dragon, an Insanity Studios production!

Jen: Yes, that's right, we officially have our own studio now!

Astrid: (Dramatically) Oh, the horror!

M. Hiccup:(Munching on a muffin) Well, at least the food is somewhat decent.

Jen: *flips pancake* Alright, who had the six-egg Texas omelette, four wheat toast, five hash-browns, and a flagon of coffee?

M. Stoic: That'd be me.

Overlord Joan: Okay, so I just realized that 'Stoic' is actually 'Stoick', so from here on out, 'Stoic' is spelled 'Stoick'.

Jen: Here you are, Stoick.

Cami: I'd like the Rachel Wrap with a side of fruit, please. Oh, and could you do an egg on the side?

Jen: (Now a waitress) Sure. Anything else?

Cami: Nope.

Astrid: *poking cautiously at a poached egg* Where did the kitchen come from?

Jen: Oh, you'd be surprised what I have in my prop department!

Overlord Joan: Prop Dept, Shmop Dept. The studio used to be a diner, which is why we got it so cheap!

Jen: Eh, same difference.

Joan: (Trying to avoid a fight) Righty ho,-

Gobber: Oi! Tha's my line!

Joan: -let's get this official show on the road!

Overlord Hannah: Let's start with the reviews, yeah? *sneakily steals food*

Jen: (Salt-n-peppering eggs) Good idea!

Overlord Hannah: We'll start at the first one. **HappyPup1** said **LOL I LOVED THIS! Plz update if u want 2 byee!**

Joan: Don't worry, we did update again! We all are glad you loved it!

Jen: Then **Luvdragons** reviewed **Ask if he likes Camicazi!! Great story!**

Overlord Joan: I liked this review. I assumed 'he' meant Hiccup, and I hope you got your answer. Congrats to the happy couple, no? *grins evilly*

B. Hiccup: *groans* I hate my life.

Joan: Then **Uncle RJ Kitten** said **S-So... This is not the beast I expected…**

Jen: We weren't sure if it was worse that what you expected, or not as terrible. We all hope it was the former, but our Evil Overlord kinda blatantly plagiarized some elements off of your story.

Overlord Joan: Heh, heh. Whoops. My bad. By the way, a shout-out to him for his prompting of the second chapter of the story , and all of you should go and read his stories. They are MUCH better than my own. Have a read!

Overlord Joan: A good friend of mine, **Turtlekier42** , said... a ridiculous amount of words. Damn it. Oh well! Anywho, she said **I read it, it's completely crazy, but it's awesome. Makes me feel a tiny bit less bad about having one in my characters be kid/wolf/dragon napped and chained before giving her a gash in their side and scared out of her mind... I may have a problem... Anywho** (Hey! I've started a fad!) **, questions for the characters right. To Movie characters if there was anything at all that happened, what it would be. Also, to M. Hiccup, what do you think you would have done if you hadn't found Toothless** Overlord Joan: I don't think we ever answered this one...Hmm, well, the first question is rather vague. Let me PM you for clarification. However, HICCUP!!

M. Hiccup: *chokes on his fork* Urk! Gulp! Hack! Gasp!

Joan: Err, we may have a problem.

*Astrid starts the Heimlich on her boyfriend*

Jen: Hey, we could ask Toothless what he thinks!

Joan: He doesn't talk, you dummy!

Jen: We need a dragon whisperer...No, we need Google Translate!

Toothless: Warble, grunt. Huff! Snort...

Google Translate: This language is not installed. Please download using data or connect to wi-fi.

Jen: NOOOOOO!!

Astrid: (finished removing the fork) Wait, you have cat installed, but not dragon? Are you insane?!

Head Director: Please refer to Studio name.

Joan: Well Hiccup, now that you are feeling better, how's about you answer the question?

M. Hiccup: Sure. What would I do if I hadn't found Toothless? Honestly, I don't know. Right then, I was kinda living in the moment. I took it day by day, 'cause I had no idea what disaster I might cause tomorrow. I probably would still be the village screw-up. Eventually, Snotlout would probably have replaced me as heir. Who knows?

Snotlout: Of course I would have!

Jen: I doubt you would have been the pariah for long. Have you seen HTTYD 2 Hiccup? Whoo-ee, he's hot.

*HTTYD 2 Hiccup appears*

HTTYD 2 Hiccup: AHHHH!!!

Ruffnut: (drooling) Me likey. Are you sure I can't have him, Astrid?

Astrid (Discretely ogling her boyfriend-from-the-future) Definitely not...

*M. Hiccup flushes a dark red*

Joan: All right, moving on! *HTTYD 2 Hiccup disappears, Ruffnut groans in disappointment* The next review says **That was soo funny I nearly wet myself. Encore, Encore** from the lovely guest reviewer **Patti**.

Overlord Joan: We were glad that you enjoyed this highly-concentrated insanity. And here is your encore, Patti.

Jen: And don't worry, I've got spare clothes in my Prop Department.

M. Fishlegs: (Hesitantly) Umm, w hat don't you have in you Prop Department?

Jen: I don't have a live dodo bird. 'Tis rather unfortunate, really.

Joan: Um, aren't they extinct?

Overlord Joan: Yes, all but Polly from Pirates: Band of Misfits

Overlord Hannah: That was a good movie, actually.

Jen: Yeah it was.

Fishlegs: What's a move-ee?

Jen: Never you mind. All you need to know is that us fangirls/boys (though I suspect the ratio is definitely favors the former ) love to obsess over them.

Astrid: Right. Well, you should probably get back to your reviews.

Joan: *smacks forehead* Duh! I almost forgot!

Overlord Joan: Okay, so **HTTYDWindsurfer** -

Jen: Not a lot of windsurfing around these parts.

Overlord Joan: -said **Totally hilarious, i love it! Almost as insane as my life!**

Joan: Well, once again, our studio is not entirely sure if you meant your life is more or less insane than the studio that specializes in insanity.

Jen: If your life is more insane, please join our team! Just fill out a 36-page application for Walgreen's and allow for 4-6 years for processing.

Overlord Joan: Sorry about the wait time, our paper-pusher got eaten by the octopus in 3B, so our finances and all that other paperwork we despise are a mess. Have some coffee while you wait.

Joan: And...that's all the reviews! Thanks for your continued support!

Jen: And thank you to all those who Favorited and Followed this story! Have a cookie! *Hands everyone slightly-burnt cookies*

Overlord Joan: WAIT! *everything screeches to a halt* We got another review! Guest reviewer **Enchantress47** said **This is a review. Post another chapter now. I'M BEGGING YOU!**

Joan: We all thank you for your review, and congratulate you on being the second reviewer on Chapter 3: Munson, The Chicken, and Pastor Dave. Here's your chapter, no begging necessary!

Jen: But I like the begging!

Overlord Joan: Here's a straw, now suck it up!

Jen: You wouldn't dare. You know I can't build a bridge and get over it! I can't build at all!

Joan: (trying to avoid a fight again ) All right, so that's actually the last of the reviews.

Overlord Joan: I'm to lazy too repeat the thank you's, so I'm going to copy and paste.

*rerun plays*

Joan: And...that's all the reviews! Thanks for your continued support!

Jen: And thank you to all those who Favorited and Followed this story! Have a cookie! *Hands everyone slightly-burnt cookies*

*rerun ends*

Overlord Joan: Since that's out of the way, now we move onto the part where I yammer on about my life, turn this into the equivalent of a blog, and the true insanity happens.

Jen: Here Cami, have some highly-caffeinated coffee.

Joan: Oh, no.

[the resulting explosion has been edited out by the editors, who do a horrible job of catching errors and should be fired]

Editors: We quit! Take care of your own errors!

Overlrd hanah: UH oh, problems r gunna arize like e the Dawn of the son.

Overlord Joan: I just realized how badly you spell, Hannah. Come back, Editors! I'll give you a raise!

Overlord Hannah: There, that's better. [word not recognizable by the editors]

Jen: *searching for bacon in the freezer* Hey, are them pigs fat enough yet? I need more bacon!

Overlord Overlord Susan: You can shoot Half-and-Half. He goes around and bums food off the neighbors.

Jen: Good. *grabs gun* I'll be back in a minute with more bacon.

Overlord Joan: Yeah, if you want pigs, we've got about five for sale. Whoop, got to leave. Going to see about another heater core. *crosses fingers* Here's to hoping it fits!

*Our Evil Overlord returns an hour later*

 **(A/N: This is long and boring, so you may skip it. More bold will signify the end.)**

Overlord Joan: Damn it! Fourth heater core, and still nothing fits! *screams in frustration* All the heater cores I've tried are too wide to fit, the OEM part is $317.54 (a week's pay), and the junkyards don't have parts exactly 22 years old (Today my car turns 22). I've called some guys about fixing it, one only does copper and brass heater cores, and the other doesn't have the equipment. So now I'm kinda stuck. This weekend (after spending some money on parts), I finally got almost everything fixed, with the help of my lovely father. Thanks, by the way, Dad! The only thing left now is the heater core. And it's not like I can just say 'Screw it, I'll fix it later.' because I'm going to need it for the winter, and I can't drive my car with the dashboard all torn apart. *another scream of frustration*

 **(A/N: Okay, you're all safe now. Back to your regularly scheduled programme.)**

Joan: Hey, wait a minute! This programme isn't regularly scheduled at all!

Jen: *back from getting bacon* Yeah! It's kinda willy-nilly! (distractedly) Ooh, I found Waldo!

Overlord Joan: Your arguments are insignificant! Back to the studio, ladies!

Jen: ( Trying to find another Waldo on Google Earth) Hey! I ain't no lady! *belches loud enough to rattle the windows*

Great-Aunt Ethel: (with a strong, snappish tone) That's no way for a lady to act ! Now you had better apologize right now, madame. Get those elbows off the table. And for heaven's sake, sit up straight! Children should be seen and not heard. Don't speak unless spoken to.

Jen: (cowed) Yes, ma'am.

Astrid: Holy crap, did she just make Jen behave?

Great-Aunt Ethel: (aghast) Young lady, how dare you talk that way! Now where's my soap?

Astrid: Hey!

Great-Aunt Ethel: Hay is for horses. Save it for the day when you marry one.

Overlord Joan: Grandpa John loved to say that one.

Overlord Hannah: *laughs* That and 'Ah, shit.'

Grandpa: (somewhere in heaven) Ah, shit!

Joan: So hey, Evil Overlords, you had band camp today...how was it?

Overlord Hannah: I can't get over the band director screaming 'Pinch the marble!!' at all of us!

Jen: There's a story behind that, one that you may not want to know, but I'm going to tell you anyways. So our Evil Overlords' band director say that to get 8-to-5 steps (8 steps to 5 yards, or 22.5 inches a step), you need to tighten the muscles in your buttocks, as if you have a marble stuck between your cheeks and you don't want to drop it.

Overlord Hannah: Actually, she's got a shirt that says 'You've all lost your marbles!' on it.

Camicazi: (who has taken a microphone, tied it around the ceiling joist, and is now swinging back and forth) IIIII CCCAAANNNN''TTTT HHHHEEAAAAARRR YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU!!!!!!!!!

Astrid: Has anyone got a tranquilizer?

SWAT Team: Go! Go! Go! *shoots Cami with a mild tranquilizer*

*Cami falls to the ground, dead asleep and snoring loudly*

B. Hiccup: Oh, thank Odin. I thought she was going to turn on me next!

*Cami pops up*

Cami: Yay! I'm back.

*B. Hiccup pales and runs to hide*

Jen: (who has found a cannon that used to be on display in the center of town) Has anyone got gunpowder? I'm too lazy to find the cannonball, but a bowling-ball will work.

Overlord Hannah: So long as it isn't Grandpa's favorite one, you're fine.

Joan: (running around trying to mitigate damage to the studio) Watch it! We don't have insurance anymore!

Overlord Joan: Wait, what!?!

Jen: (trying to load cannon) Yeah, Blue Cross and Blue Shield told us they would no longer insure the building.

Overlord Hannah: (laughing as she reads the previous sentence) Don't they do health insurance?

Joan: (wrestling a firework out the hands (tentacles) of the octopus in 3B) Yeah, but we're not called Insanity Studios for nothin'!

Jen: Snotlout, could you be a dear and help me aim this cannon?

Joan: (realizing what Jen is doing) AHHHHH!!! *unfortunately, she is seconds too late*

Jen: FIRE! Cannon: (not Pachelbel's Canon) KA-BOOOM!!!

*a bowling-ball crashes through three floors of an office building on the other side of town*

Overlord Hannah: Oh, damn. We're gonna have to foot that bill, aren't we?

Overlord Joan: *opens wallet* I'm afraid I'm broke. Er, can we pay you back later?

Office Manager: NO!

Overlord Joan: Oh, speaking of managers, I was reading a oneshot called "The Devil's dating dilemma (oneshot)" by vala411 (great story, go check it out), where Hiccup has to help Astrid (the devil's daughter) to get a boyfriend, ans they are trying online dating. One of the lines made me laugh so hard! Here, I'll read it.

'"I suppose placing Ruler of Hell might be a turn off." "Yeah..." he told her and then he had an idea. For the occupation he filled in Supervising Manager. It was close enough.'

Overlord Hannah: Oh my God, that's hilarious!

Overlord Joan: I know, right? Of course, no offense to any Supervising Managers reading this. There's good folks among the bad.

Ruffnut: Hey Jen, can I borrow your cannon? And some fireworks?

Jen: Will there be chaos?

Tuffnut: Perhaps...

Jen: *raises eyebrow* Perhaps?

Ruffnut: Yes...

Jen: (beaming) Good! I love chaos!

Overlord Joan: Oh no you don't! I don't need more bills to add to the pile!

Astrid: You have a pile of bills?

Overlord Joan: (grumbling) On my desk somewhere.

Overlord Hannah: Oh yeah, you should see her desk. It is just covered in crap.

Overlord Joan: Like yours is any better!

Overlord Hannah: I never said it was. I just said your desk is messy.

Overlord Joan: *sighs* I give up. I'm gonna go take a nap.

Jen: (calling to the retreating Evil Overlord) When the cat's away, the mice will play!

Overlord Joan: Don't care!

*the Three Blind Mice do an Irish jig and play poker*

Mouse One: No, I don't have any twos. Go fish.

Mouse Three: I thought we were playing Blackjack?

Mouse Two: UNO!

Jen: Hey, anyone up for a movie?

Three Blind Mice: We're BLIND, idiot!

Fishlegs: Still don't bloody well know what a move-ee is!!

Joan: Well, you're about to find out! What do you lot want to watch?

Overlord Hannah: Ooh, just for kicks and giggles, let us watch How To Train Your Dragon !

Astrid: (muttering under breath) Can this day get any worse?

*thunder rumbles, and it starts pouring. Inside the studio. 'Are you insane?' you ask. Please refer to studio name*

Astrid: (yelling to an unknown deity) That wasn't a challenge, morons!

*lightning strikes Astrid. Her skeleton appears in her silhouette several times, like in the cartoons*

*lightning stops. Astrid crumples to the floor in a heap*

Hiccup: (running to his girlfriend) Astrid! Are you all right?

*Astrid is dead*

Hiccup: NOOOOOO!!!!!

Overlord Joan: Alright, alright, enough shouting! I had school today and have a headache bordering on a migraine! If any of you cause this to become a full-blown migraine, so help me I will cut out your heart with a dull spoon and shove it down your throat while it's **_still beating_**! Am I clear?

All: (meekly. Well, for the most part. Astrid would be glaring if she wasn't, you know, dead) Yes, Most Scary Evil Overlord Joan.

Overlord Joan: Good! *snaps fingers. Astrid sits back up*

Astrid: AHHHHHH!!!! I WAS DEAD!

*all frantically shush Astrid*

Overlord Joan: AHHHHHHH! MY HEAD!!

B. Hiccup: Too late. Well, at least my marriage was short.

*Overlord Joan runs off to find coffee and some Ibuprofen. Or Acetaminophen. Or something*

Overlord Joan: (returning with a steaming cup of coffee, taking deep breaths, and counting to ten repeatedly) Okay, so **Turtlekier42** got back with me recently, and clarified the question mentioned exactly 2,2 41 words ago. She said...*searches frantically through email*... **To the movie characters: If there was anything at all that happened that you could change, what would it be?**

Joan: We thank you for this, because now we have a question for every character here! Except for the book characters, of course.

Jen: (over the PA) IF ALL MOVIE CHARACTERS COULD PLEASE RETURN TO THE INTERVIEWING ROOM, NUMBER 4A, NEXT TO THE MAN-EATING SQUID IN 3B, FOR THEIR RESPECTIVE INTERVIEWS, THE STAFF OF INSANITY STUDIOS, INK. WOULD GREATLY APPRECIATE IT. PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME GET THE SWAT TEAM IN AGAIN, 'CAUSE THEY COST A LOT OF MONEY.

Overlord Joan: And I can't just make a stack of money and give it to the studio, due to inflation and all. Politics, ya' know.

Jen: (Still over PA *she really, really , likes the PA*) WE'LL GIVE YOU FREE FOOD AND DRINKS! NOT THAT IT COST ANYTHING BEFORE, OR ANYTHING. HMMM, I NEED TO COME UP WITH SOMETHING MORE PERSUASIVE.

Alvin the Treacherous: Hold yer horses, we're here. No need to take away our food.

Savage: But sir, she wasn't. She was just gonna give us more free food.

Outcast 1: But it doesn't cost anything to start with!

Jen: EXACTLY. I NEED BETTER PERSUASIVE TECHNIQUES!

Joan: (now starting to get a headache as well) Whatever, I don't care. Astrid, now that you're alive, how about we do you first?

Astrid: Fine. Just make it quick.

Jen: (finally off the PA) Okay, so you heard the lady. If you could change one thing in your past, what would it be?

Astrid: I think I would have given Hiccup a better chance. He was trying so hard, and we kinda just blew him off.

Hiccup: Thanks, Astrid. That...*sniffles*...that means a lot to me.

Joan: (still not willing to deal with noise) Great, let's move on. Snotlout?

Snotlout: Same question? I think I would have made Astrid my Princess-

*Astrid glares at Snot*

Snotlout: (nervously) What did I say? I didn't say that! I said that I would bullied Hiccup less! Yeah, that's it! *laughs nervously*

Jen: (rolling eyes) Alright, you're off the hook.

Ruffnut, would you mind?

Ruffnut: Mind what? Punching my brother? Okay! *punches Tuffnut*

Joan: No, we want you to answer the question, dummy.

Ruffnut: Oh. What question?

Joan: (sighs heavily) Reread the last couple paragraphs, please.

Tuffnut: Wait, you mean read?

Ruffnut: While we're still alive?

Snotlout: Why read words when you can just kill the stuff the words tell you stuff about?

Overlord Joan: And yes, for those of you that noticed, that was a direct quote from the movie.

Joan: (now with a bad headache) I DON'T CARE!! READ IT!!

Overlord Joan: All right, that's enough. This document i s over three-thousand words long, and I'm tired and need to work on NHS stuff, and Joan is going to stab someone.

Overlord Hannah: Weird. One would thing Jen would do the stabbing.

Overlord Joan: Go away! I'm still mad at you! Anywho, I'm calling it quits here. I've still got eighteen characters left to go (one of whom is called No-Name), not including the Riders/Defenders of Berk and Race to the Edge characters.

Jen: Sorry, **Turtlekier42** , but I'll get the rest of your characters in the next chapter! See you all then! JOAN, GO LAY DOWN!!

Overlord Hannah: Remember, please review with questions for the characters!

Overlord Joan: GO AWAY! MY STORY! *imitating Gollum* MY PRECIOUS!

B. Hiccup: Please, someone, save me! Tell the Evil Overlord to get me a divorce!


End file.
